In light of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I feel it is important to bring up something that is prevalent in society and goes alongside of sexual assault: slut-shaming. Not only is it hurtful to whomever you are “slut-shaming” but it also reveals ignorance on behalf of the person saying it.
To define “slut-shaming” would be imperative to this letter. “Slut-shaming” is the phenomenon of mocking or degrading a woman for her clothing, actions, or if she is having or enjoying sex.
Any attempt to control or manipulate a woman’s image or body against her consent is a form of sexual assault. It violates how a woman feels about herself; it makes her feel she is inadequate, even though there is nothing wrong with her body.
Much of slut-shaming originates from history placing purity on a female’s virginity and not stressing the importance of a male’s virginity. It is also a form of victim-blaming — saying a woman’s rape or assault was because of what she was wearing at the time of the crime.
I’m sure many of you have done this — called someone a “slut,” “whore” or “ho” because you felt she deserved it. No one deserves to be slut-shamed; women, just as much as men, deserve to be able to enjoy sex and explore their sexuality in a healthy way. There’s no shame in having agency over your own body.
Having agency and making decisions for yourself shows you respect your wants, your needs and your health — sexual or otherwise. Slut-shaming someone because of that perpetuates the double standard that men can have as much sex as they want, sans consequence, and women aren’t allowed to enjoy or even have sex. But it takes two to tango.
I think I see it most often at the bar scene: someone points out a girl and says that she is wearing something that is either “too tight” or “too short.”
Quite frankly, I don’t see how her clothing choices are going to affect the rest of someone’s night. Is what she’s comfortable in going to somehow follow you around and purposefully make your night terrible? Is what makes her feel good about herself going to aid in losing your keys or phone?
A woman’s clothing choices has nothing to do with you or what you think about her. They are solely based on how they make her feel and it’s none of your business. Maybe you should ask yourself why her clothing makes you uncomfortable to begin with.
As someone who embraces the curves she’s been given, I can attest that I do not dress for anyone but myself because, frankly my dear, I don’t give a darn. I’m comfortable in my own skin and I’m not about to let some self-righteous child posing as a college student make me feel any different.
It’s important for women to be aware of all forms of sexual assault; it’s equally, if not more, important for society to understand that no one has a right to control someone else’s clothing, piercing, tattoo, lifestyle, food, health, etc. choices.
The only thing you should worry about is making the decisions that are best for you and what you are comfortable with. That’s it. We need more diversity among our leaders. But with the progression, we are setting ourselves back the more we slut-shame.
If we want to continue progressing forward, if we want to continue improving diversity issues and social injustices, we have to respect the choices of others — even if it’s not a choice we would make for ourselves.
The longer someone thinks they can make the right decisions for someone else, the longer others will feel guilty for their needs, wants and choices. It’s 2015. Let’s move on to more important issues, rather than slut-shaming.
Victims of slut-shaming: those people made you feel bad about yourself, but don’t let anyone but yourself tell you what to do. As long as you are making the right decisions for yourself and you’re living your life the way you want, it’s all good. You do you, girl.
Remember, raising sexual assault awareness isn’t just about physical acts of assault — it’s about slut-shaming, too.
-Amber Rouse, executive editor
