I get it. I get the hype surrounding Focus Features’ release of the much-anticipated “50 Shades of Grey;” I’ve read it, I was intrigued by it, I even defended it.
Now that I’ve taken the time to look closely at the story itself and have had the opportunity to attend a school whose students have been so wonderfully active in advocating for civil rights and anti-campus rape campaigns, I see the Twilight fan fiction trilogy for what it really is.
It’s a story about an abusive billionaire preying on a virginal girl, fresh out of college, naive and ready to take on the world.
This story is not about kinky sex. It is not about learning new, uh, tricks. It is most definitely not about porn. What “50 Shades” portrays is an abusive relationship, complete with rape and a false depiction of the BDSM community.
Let me be a bit clearer; it is Christian Grey’s motivation for pursuing Ana Steele that proves this story to be abusive, as well as Ana’s lack of action or consent.
Christian Grey practices complete control over Ana from the beginning: monitoring her food, her cell phone, her friends, her clothes. Her body.
This is wildly unacceptable. If your significant other thinks he/she/they have any say over your choices, over your body, you are complying to their abusive behaviors.
Why does Christian do this? Because he is a control freak and has a twisted sense of what a healthy relationship ought to be.
While I believe in healthy expression of sexuality, Grey does an offensive job of introducing Ana to BDSM.
I researched BDSM relationships and discovered it is not about having control over another for sexual purposes. Those who engage in BDSM create an open discussion environment to make sure everything is consensual and even provide mental support, so members can safely transition between fantasy and reality.
Never do BDSM’ers ignore safe words, like Grey does when Ana pleads him to stop. Is that not rape? Did she want to stop? Yes. Did he? No.
Many times throughout the first novel, Ana questions whether this is a relationship she wants to pursue. Red flag 1. If you, at any time, doubt whether or not you should be in a relationship, GET OUT NOW.
Don’t waste your money on a film perpetuating the rape culture we live in. It is not something to be glorified, or simply, romanticized. Chose your V-day plans wisely.
“You need to learn to manage my expectations. I am not a patient man.”
“If that is how you feel, do you think you could just try and embrace those feelings, deal with them for me?”
– excerpts from “50 Shades of Grey.”
-Amber Rouse, executive editor
