The French Fry is completely satire. Any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the French Fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the views of the advertisements outside of this insert. 

Another “exciting chapter” has been opened for the future of the University of Northern Iowa, according to president Nark Mook.

Students, faculty and community members all gathered in front of the West Gym last week to celebrate the launch of yet another campaign to guide the future years of UNI.

The Forget Yesterday campaign aims to continue UNI’s streak of not maintaining historic campus buildings to the point that they are physically uninhabitable.

The campaign was partially inspired by the fate of Old Gilchrist Hall, a building constructed in 1883 that burned down in 1972 due to faulty wiring.

“Our team determined that historic buildings sitting abandoned around campus is more than just tradition — it’s part of our brand at UNI,” Mook said at the campaign announcement.

“The West Gym is another great example of our plan in action,” added campaign manager Les D. Molish. “If gravity and mother nature are going to do half of the demolition work for us, why not eliminate some expenses in that area?”

During the announcement event, the university stated that they’ve been acting upon this campaign for a number of years. Campbell Hall, the Honors Cottage and the Alumni House are all structures currently in the rotting stage.

The campaign admitted that they faced a setback in 2021 when the Board of Regents tabled the decision to demolish the Honors Cottage, the oldest building on UNI’s campus. However, they are optimistic that the structure will fall sooner or later.

“The best possible outcome for us would be more bowing walls on these buildings,” Molish said. “Or maybe a building fire — that would sure make things easy.”

However, some UNI students are a bit hesitant to embrace the Forget Yesterday campaign.

“It just seems like there are abandoned buildings around every corner,” freshman Nicole Evans said. “It’s not exactly the most inspiring learning environment.”

Rumor has it that the Commons and Rider Hall may be the next buildings incorporated into the Forget Yesterday campaign. For further updates, visit forgetyesterday.uni.edu.