French Fry

15 minutes or less: GEICO Gecko to attend all women’s home games

Caleb Hossman, Aspiring Rapper • Apr 3, 2024

GEICO and UNI/PHOTO ILLUSTRATION GINGER ALE

The Geico Gecko will be here soon.

The French Fry is completely satire. Any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the French Fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the views of the advertisements outside of this insert.

On the heels of Jake from State Farm attending Caitlin Clark’s record-breaking game in Iowa, the GEICO Gecko announced that he has purchased season tickets for UNI’s upcoming season. The two insurance goliaths have been feuding lately and State Farm has recently gotten the upper hand through the publicity that Jake obtained during his time at the Iowa game.

“Women’s basketball in Iowa is hotter than it has ever been,” the Gecko explained. “I wanted to attend games of a really hot team that isn’t as widely known as some of the superpowers like UConn and LSU. UNI ticked all the boxes and I can’t wait to be there at every game.”

The Gecko is already close personal friends of some of the players, which made his decision to get season tickets for the Panthers even easier.

“We’ve known him for a while. He’s chill, I guess,”an unnamed player said.

The Panthers will prepare to make waves next season as more eyes will be on their games as one of the biggest celebrities in the world of insurance will be in the McLeod center for every single home game. There are also rumors that the Gecko will invite his fellow GEICO alumni Camel and Caveman to attend some of the games with him.

“Some of the games fall on HUMP DAY so you best believe I’ll be there,” Camel said.

UNI and Iowa will not be the only teams affected by the great insurance war of 2024. Iowa State has announced that Flo from Progressive will be there to cheer on Audi Crooks and the rest of the Cyclones for a few games next season. Drake has also announced plans to reach out to Mayhem from AllState to also capitalize on the fame that these insurance companies bring.

The Gecko arriving on the scene for the UNI games will be a game-changing move for the university, as many people will be flocking to the McLeod Center to see the celebrity in the flesh. It is a sign of things to come as many other celebrities such as Donnie Osmund, Lil Pump and more have shown interest in venturing into the Cedar Valley to see the team in action.