Disclaimer: The following opinion article contains spoilers for “Sex and the City” past season one.
As “Sex and the City” makes a resurgence in the pop culture zeitgeist, so does the conversation around the characters people love to hate and hate to love, Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. The four characters, who reside in New York City, provide something of a guidebook for young women who tune into the beloved HBO show. Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte’s lives are narrated by Carrie, the main “Sex and the City” protagonist. Carrie weaves her friend’s stories into her own narrative, which happens to be the column that she writes for a New York paper and, eventually, Vogue. There are small anecdotes of life advice in every episode — breathe, take your time, go for it, all encouraging and soothing mantras. The show itself isn’t just good, it’s great. It’s critically acclaimed and has earned itself two spinoff movies after the original show’s ending, and a reboot show “And Just Like That,” now streaming on HBO Max, with a third season on the way.
There’s just one small problem — I hate Carrie Bradshaw. Well, I dislike her more than anything. She’s not just a character on “Sex and the City,” Carrie is “Sex and the City.” In the fifth season, Carrie comes out with a book, which compiles all of her columns from over the seasons, titled “Sex and the City.” You couldn’t have “Sex and the City” without Carrie Bradshaw. But still, I find myself suffering immense amounts of second-hand embarrassment from Carrie over the course of six seasons.
From the pilot episode, where Carrie becomes inexplicably enamored with Mr. Big, I realized that the arc with Big wouldn’t just be for a season — this was for the long haul. Throughout the seasons, we see Carrie continue to center her life around Big. From overlooking plans with Miranda for one-off dates with Big, cheating on Aidan for Big, becoming Big’s mistress and a homewrecker in the process, Carrie centering her life around Big had really only led her to emotional damage, yet she still chooses him time after time. It’s annoying. One could make a similar argument for Miranda and Steve, but I disagree. Miranda and Steve have a child together, and at least Steve cares about Miranda. Over the course of the main “Sex and the City” plot, Big doesn’t give an indication that he cares about Carrie.
One quote from “Sex and the City” that drives me particularly mad is one that went viral on TikTok a few months ago, “And suddenly there he was, wearing Armani on a Sunday. Mr. Big,” from season one, episode 13. Many have misinterpreted this quote as Big “taking Carrie’s breath away,” or “a look of love,” perhaps. It’s none of the above. In this scene, Carrie is watching Mr. Big leave church with his mother on Sunday, something he had never once mentioned to her. It’s an unmistakable sign of wonder — Carrie truly didn’t know Big, and it seemed as though he didn’t want Carrie to truly know him.
It isn’t just her problems with Big that make me dislike her — it’s also the way she treats the people who are supposed to be her friends. Although she claims these women are her best friends, she sometimes treats them as though they’re disposable, things that can be tossed at the first idle impulse. Whether it’s in favor of a man or through judgment, Carrie doesn’t treat her friends with the respect they deserve.
Overall, I think that Carrie is a deeply flawed character. The way she centers the men in her life rather than the strong female companionship she already has is disappointing to watch. I love “Sex and the City,” but Carrie’s narration and misinterpretation of certain situations loses me at some points.
