UNI recently announced that all parking pass prices will go up for the upcoming year. Though, there is an alternative to spending absurd amounts of money on a pothole-filled parking spot. Students, faculty and staff can participate in a university-wide battle for their preferred passes. UNI President Mark Nook refused to comment on the event, looking pale and anxious when asked if he would be participating alongside students for his parking pass.
Many UNI students are eager to participate, to show how upset they are by the consistent raising of prices of everything on campus. Food in Maucker Union is more expensive than it was, and daily essentials like laundry detergent and toothpaste are price jacked. Junior Giggles McGee said “I already give this university thousands of dollars to take random classes, and now they’re messing with parking passes … I will battle anyone to save $100.”
There are hundreds of students who are looking forward to this battle taking place at UNI. One being sophomore Pick-Inn Maboogers, who is the president of the artsy fartsy club on campus. Maboogers said, “I’m really excited for this battle to take place, I am planning on being involved — I just hope that we can all be friends after it is done.”
Not all students are supportive of the battle. Freshman Usedaddi Money said “This is such an overreaction, just ask your parents for the money to get the pass you want, duh … I will not be ruining my fresh manicure fighting over one-and-a-half Lululemon shirts worth of money.”
Student Privv Lidge added to Money’s thoughts, saying “I literally just don’t understand why you guys would fight over this, $100 is half a day of shopping … I’ll pay that any day, so I can park my brand-new white Jeep Wrangler close to my dorm.”
While there are ranging emotions about this event, the overall participation number is looking to be high. Out of the 9,000 plus UNI students, roughly 7,000 students are planning on either attending or participating. In order to make this a fair battle, the event is located in the UNI-Dome — and will take place on the football field. As renovations are underway for the UNI-Dome remodel, there is no better time to battle on the field than before it is replaced. It will likely be the most heated battle that field has seen since Panther Football rocked the ’90s.
Planners of the event, Senior Tummi Hurtz and Junior Ineed Atums came up with the idea when discussing the rising cost of passes with their peers. “I think if students are truly desperate enough for a parking pass, we’ll see that come out in the arena,” said Atums.
Students are not encouraged to practice any extreme physical violence during this event. Hurtz and Atums noted that students who come bare-handed will be forced to wear absurdly giant inflatable boxing gloves. While minor roughhousing will be tolerated, no blood shall be drawn. The event takes place at 11:19 p.m. on Thursday, April 17, inside of the UNI-Dome. Only those who have pre-registered may enter the gates. Find out more about the Battle of Parking Passes at uni.edu/parkingpassbattle2025.
